Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex
I am sorry for how you are feeling and your struggles.
it's the subject of your message that struck a cord with me, "defeated and afraid"
well: I feel like that. for me, it's because no one cares what I want and I feel that I am constantly living for others. their's no well, she can decide this, she can do what is right for her, because that's wrong. that's bad. that's unhealthy. she can't make decisions who does she think she is.
and that leads to the fear of speaking up and the fear of actually living.
I often find that if I hide how I feel, people press me for more information.
if I tell them, it's wrong. it's bad. it's unhealthy
so where's the middle ground?
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Thank you for commenting, Its such an isolating feeling. I feel like when I do stuff for others, I can hide my feelings. But I also agree, the more i try to hide, the more other press, but I never want to share, I feel like its not their place to judge me for what I've been through.
The middle ground is something that escapes me. I feel the fear, of living, but I feel the fear of things/life falling apart, then I fear myself. Thus the defeat comes in... the cycle is hard to break.