Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralah
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote, I am in a pretty dark place right now too. Somebody wrote on a thread somewhere that you should live every day as though you have a future even if you don't believe it is true right now. Those words have helped me a little bit. It has translated down to me getting out of bed and eating some food on the worst days, and trying to do a bit of work because future me may benefit from that etc. It's not much, but it's something I guess. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I hope it gets better.
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To be honest, I love this mentality. I think it's a good one. I once heard someone say as long as they had one person who loves them, they can keep going. I don't have anyone I'm close to so that doesn't apply to me so much. I don't even have a pet right now. But what helps me, is that I told God/The Divine that I would do divine work in my life, helping others. And that really is what keeps me going. I made some promises to a Higher Power. I am a person of integrity, so keeping promises is important to me. That's why I did it.
I am recognizing and accepting that...I am mentally ill. I have a horrible illness in my mind and brain. That needs healing. When I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease at the end of 2019, I followed the doctor's directions...because I would have died if I didn't. I swallowed a radioactive pill. I rested. I took all the medications prescribed. To me, depression isn't much different. There are things I've gone through, traumas, and they are afflicting my mind. I have depression. Possibly a chemical imbalance. I probably need medication.
So, I think before my life can get better, I need to get better. As much as I'd love to have a career, a partner, etc. I feel if I tried now, I'd ruin it all because of my psychological issues. There is a time for everything. And sometimes, it is a time to heal.