I have this strange feeling of pity and indigestion because I miss my transference T terribly today and I don’t understand why I’m still feeling this so badly almost 9 months later. Not to mention I had my entire female reproductive system removed just over 2 weeks ago so I thought that would help too with my emotions about her. Maybe I’m just nervous about my appointment tomorrow. But I feel so sick about her right now I feel like I’m going to throw up.

I hope tomorrow goes ok. It will if I want it to. This therapist is different then the last 2. I just want to get over this feeling.