Yeah the depression is there today. I don’t know how many times I’ve listened to the songs Halls by Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness and Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus because they are so relatable to how I’ve been feeling. I fall asleep with them every night. I even have a flavor that describes this feeling. Mint. I know it’s kinda a strange flavor but every time I eat or drink mint flavored stuff I remember her. I also have a type of tea too. I drank 3 mugs of it today. I wanted to get rid of the box though too.

If I just gave up these 2 songs and 4 foods I think things would be better. But at the same time I can’t tell if maybe these things are helping me cope as well. I need to talk about it in the morning.

I just took 160 mil of Geodon and 20 mil of melatonin and I used my sleep lotion. So I’m hoping to just pass out until the morning.