Thank you Sprinkles,

I honestly have no interest in the polyamory world. One of the ladies that used to work for me is a member of that community. She is open about it, would probably welcome me into her little corner of the world. Just not for me. Nothing against that lifestyle for those that lean that way, just not me.

Regarding talking to a spiritual leader, also not my bag of tea. Yes, I am a spiritual person, but my spirituality centers on my own relationship with my own God. I don't need some other human trying to tell me what I feel or believe in that regard.

I have been to therapy and it helped a lot. I wouldn't be where I am at today if not for the T I had a few years ago. We did discuss relationships a lot. I'm good with where I'm att.

The good people here, yourself included bring forward what I've known all along. I've got a LOT of baggage. Honestly, Molinit, hit the nail on the head and I aprpeciate being reminded of that.

I have no intentions of reconciling with the wife....none. At the same time, because of a conversation God and I had some 12 to 15 years ago, I do feel an obligation/responsibility to take care of her. We could all psycho analyze that from now till the cows come home, but it is my belief. I choose to do what I believe God wants me to do, and what I believe is right.

That said, any woman I have met had known from day one my current situation. I've never hid it, have been very open about it. They said they understood and were ok with it. Now, saying and being are two different things. I get that.

Concerning the lady that this thread was started about, I came to the conclusion this weekend that the best thing I can do is just be her friend for now. She is going through a major transition, which isn't going anything like she anticipated, and the last thing she needs is someone trying to engage in a romantic relationship. Things might change, things might now, but as you say, in the meantime I need to focus on me and take care of me. I'm aware of that and I'm doing that.

For those that mentioned it, I'm NOT giving up on myself. I've been alone most of my life. I'm ok alone. Yes, some companionship would be nice from time to time, but I don't need it to survive.

I'll be fine.

Besides, I've found these forums and maybe I can be of some use here.

I do appreciate everyone's feedback/thoughts/suggestions.

BOM