I knew what I was doing wasn’t normal, but I always told myself it wasn’t a problem because I could stop any time if I wanted to (that was a lie). When people started showing serious concern and I realized I couldn’t eat even when I wanted to, I realized something was off. I still remember going to my first assessment for eating disorder treatment and telling them “I don’t think I have an eating disorder,” and them looking at me like I was crazy and assuring me that yes, I definitely did have an eating disorder. Now it’s been like 8 years and I still have times of denial.

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