For me, I don't know if I abused my younger brother by re-enacting violence my parents did to me, and authorised my other siblings to do to me. And I was taught "might makes right".

I don't know because I've a lot of amnesia from my past. My T insists I wouldn't have, but I was a child then and she didn't know me then. And I'm not sure how deeply did I repress my rage from abuse.

Especially as I had a major change in worldview later on when previously I felt I deserved all the violence etc, including sadistic violence. What if I harmed him, traumatised him is my constant worry, along with guilt, shame, as well as the uncertainty of not knowing.

Making amends in my case:

And I have talked to him when he asked me to help him find a therapist and psychiatrist. He said I was the safest person in our family and he knew our parents would forbid therapy etc.

He was a minor a few years off legal age, so as his caregiver, I waived privilege off. Ensured all his mental health professionals will see him like an adult client on terms of confidentiality. So I'd know nothing. And I also told them and him that I won't stop paying for his therapy even if it turns out I did abuse him, and assured him it's really okay if he hates me. I also told him that if I did harm him whether it's big or small, I would believe him and seek to make amends without an expectation of forgiveness.