Unless you legally adopt this 13 year child, you are not a parent to that child. You may be emotionally "bonded" to him, but that makes you a loving adult friend . . . not a parent. Your therapist has been remiss in not pointing that out to you. But then she's been busy working with you "on ways to nurture your spirit" and developing the thesis that your nervous system has been "rewired." She knows how to keep you coming back. She's clever, and I bet she's expensive. But, then, it's only money, of which you have plenty . . . or so you think . . . enough that you are "empowered" with "completely having the upper hand." Clover, you are telling yourself a whole lot of stuff, which your counselor fails to appropriately challenge you on. But, then, she's busy furnishing you with all those "tools."

As you may be guessing, I take a dim view of a lot of what passes for "counseling." Actually, that's neither here nor there, and I apologize for going off on a tangent. Let me be much more to the point: I am not saying that you should end your relationship with this man or eject his 13 year old son from your caring support. You may need them to be there. Acknowledge your own neediness, which doesn't come from a mis-wired nervous system. It comes from the need to love and be loved and from the fear of loneliness and emptiness. For centuries, women of means have sometimes opted to financially underwrite men in exchange for companionship. That isn't necessarily wrong.

Don't confuse lack of character with "mental health issues." Your boyfriend's lack of integrity cannot be "treated" by mental health professionals. He likes living as he does. It's been working for him: he's got you, and he's got the BMW, and his son is nicely provided for. It is not wrong for you to love a man with a severe character deficit. It is very foolish to give him boatloads of money. You may think you've "made it clear" that you are not going to do that anymore. We'll see. This guy is a lawyer. He can come up with complex schemes faster than you can see through them. You might be wise to quietly hire a lawyer of your own to advise you on how to best protect your assets and income . . . and to have someone to run things by when your boyfriend comes up with his next scheme.

Here's one last caution: when your boyfriend fails to get you to open your purse on his behalf, he'll come up with a scheme whereby he needs you to subsidize something for the child's sake. He knows you love his kid. He'll use that against you. You'll use that against yourself. You'll rationalize that anything you do that may seem to be in the boy's interests will be the noble thing for you to do. That child is like a hostage held against you. BTW, having that hostage to use gives your boyfriend the upper hand.