If all money is "our" money why would he be so secretive about his income? Why would he need a third party when money is being discussed? Etc.
Not only does he seems to be financially irresponsible but it seems he is using you to fund his lifestyle, knowing you would also bail him out if/when he got in too deep.
As for
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If a partner spouse asks for a business loan, defines the terms, and signs a promissory note, should they be accountable?
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Yes, absolutely. I would have very clear boundaries with money with him as you are clearly not on the same page..
It feels like *your* money is his money too... but *his* money remains his and only his.