So... Temp T.... What to say about her. As soon as I went to the first session I struggled. But then I always struggle. We were sat in quite a small room with a bookcase to the right and the toilet to the left. Two big squishy armchairs right opposite one another. Luckily she had left some paperwork on the chair for me because I couldn't look at her or have her look at me, so I held the paperwork up and just kept it in front of my face. And there is stayed. She had intended to ask me her usual intake questions I think, doctors, history, family etc but she seemed to sense that this was not going to be helpful for either of us really. I think it was the first session where she basically asked what would help me, and I said not to be sat opposite. So she said, ok, let's move. I stood in the corner facing the wall while she moved the chairs around to be sat side by side, which felt much more manageable for me. I didn't have to look at her then.

The games and puzzles and pens etc on the shelves really drew me in, as it was similar to Ex T in a way, and indicated that maybe we wouldn't just have to sit and talk all the time. I got my clipboard out and started to write, and she would read and respond. She was happy to work like this and said that she had worked with someone before in a very similar way. Someone who, like me, wanted to find their voice but just didn't know how. She said that by the time this person left therapy, they were able to voice what had happened to them. They were able to speak about it. Which made me feel quite hopeful, that maybe we could do the same.

When it came time to leave I felt like I wanted to go back again, so we booked another session....