Grace, dear one, I'm going to just blow right by the emotional component that stirs in me on your behalf. I couldn't do it justice here anyway. But, rather than blather I would hold you til it subsides.

You are not so very long out of a nasty long marriage. The aftershocks of that change are impossible to overestimate. IMHO, the single best place for you to reach out (not to the exclusion of these pages) is going to be a battered women's support group. It is free, and I guarantee there are several near you. (sad but true) You will find so very much in common with the experieces of other women there, and more importantly how to cope, go on in the best way for you and your children.

The fact that your parents are able to shelter you at this time is a mixed blessing. For all the logistical benefits, you are also a little "trapped" in that pressure of keeping up appearances. The women's group will have common experieces in that regard to share as well.

I hope you will do this. Feeling as bad as you do right now, is only going to sharpen your realization of what a good thing you did when you walk in there. This "dip" you are having is right on schedule. When you hear other women descibe the same thing, you are going to cry tears of joy.

You always hope your advice helps someone, and you hope they take it, but my friendship with you isn't contingent upon anything, so not to worry if my best idea here doesn't do a thing for you. lol. xo.