I appreciate everyone’s condolences about my Bootsy. It’s been very hard and I am being very hard on myself. It’s only been a little over 24 hours and I keep saying “Why are you still grieving so hard?” – honestly, it feels like days and days because of the crying and grief. To be fair, I just feel like I’m supposed to move on, and I’m just not there yet. Which why would I be? It’s brand new. I know what I am going through is normal, but it hurts and I hate it. Cliché as it is, it does come in waves though-- the pain.

I am doing a lot better today. I still can’t remove everything. Her toys are still where they normally were, her litter box is still in place. I can bear to throw them out just yet – if they’re gone it’s a physical reminder she is really gone. I just can’t do that yet. I know it may seem callous to the outside person, but letting the vet bury here was the best thing. While I would have liked to have her on family soil, it would make the grieving 1000 times harder. I know she is put to rest respectfully and peacefully.

I don’t want to bombard the forum with my grief. I know no one wants to listen to it, and before long I’m sure someone will tell me this belongs elsewhere on the forum haha. I’ll leave it at what it is for now. I’ll grieve and try to be strong.

I have to pick up some medicine today, and there aren’t any real plans after that. I might just spend time alone again today. I think I just need to be alone. Sometimes it’s hard to find someone to validate the loss of a pet. I appreciate everyone here understand that too.