My mother had this attitude towards me of, she would discuss stuff with my older brother (either her own stuff or stuff about me), then never to talk to me about the things. It wasnt even a "need to know" basis - it was more that i NEVER needed to know, as far as they were concerned. Or once the emotional stuff was relieved, they had nothing left for me. So yeah i ALWAYS felt like i was imposing.

To where i would hardly respond "...and how are YOU?" to coworkers, because that seemed intrusive! If they wanted me to know, they would tell me! Or so i thought. Not rose colored glasses - more like family blinders.

So i wonder if something like that is playing in your mind. I just try to be quiet in my head and hear what i feel.