I have many undiagnosed conditions, a strange uterine disorder I cannot remember (but it's in my charts somewhere), frequent abnormal pap smears that require colposcopies (I still haven't gotten mine for 2 years now, and I fear having cancer), and dealing with ongoing chronic fatigue syndrome, a nodule on my thyroid (yet no diagnosable thyroid condition, despite me gaining tons of weight in a short period of time), etc.

My check-in: I'm finally gaining some energy back from post-exertional malaise (PEM, which is from CFS/ME). I'm doing some house chores, but I'm never up to my full capacity for "normal daily functioning" - whatever "normal" is these days, anyway.

My right leg hurts from sitting too much, but I don't have the energy to exercise or walk at the moment.

This pandemic has restricted me so much and caused so much ableism, ageism, and racism - all of which I've been struggling with in increasing amounts during this pandemic - that I feel defeated and vulnerable to trauma all the time.

My PTSD and dissociation have worsened, but thankfully I have a good T to help me twice per week.

I could be better, do better, but all I can do is the best I can do in the moment, despite not being able to do better. -If that makes any sense at all.

I'm grateful for having all of my limbs though.