I cannot seem to let go of my visit to the doctor, and it's debilitating how much it is affecting me. I'm so tired of those around me saying senseless and stupid things like "If you didn't get so upset about it you probably would get headaches." or "I don't know why you let it bother you" ... as if anyone chooses to suffer. I feel like saying "Now that you have pointed out the obvious, I magically am now unaffected by it!" ugh.


I used the online service for my pharmacy to fill a refill prescription. There's a big mess with is, and I've called and been there too many times to try to continue and fix it. It's not the fault of anyone, just how they want to "sync" your meds and because I have meds from different dates they aren't syncing well. They did accept my request to refill for the one I need (I think it's passed time for a refill to be honest, because it was a dosage increase, I already had some on hand I used first). If they run into problems, I'll just ration meds until then. It's not like I take a controlled substance and I've finally had enough issues to realize I don't need to interact with people. It's not worth the pain it will bring to try to correct the issue.

My head hurts this morning, but as of right now it is not a migraine. Let's hope it doesn't become one, as I still haven't received my migraine meds (they were out of stock). I guess one day I can look back and laugh about the migraine I got from the stress of trying to get help with migraines? Yeah, maybe not...

I called today to setup an appointment to have a Primary Care Provider. I'm scared to death of being yelled at and told I haven't a need to be there, as irrational as that is. I've never had a family/general practitioner before. I am afraid of how this session will go. If nothing else, I have gastric reflux, never had bloodwork done, and migraines and headaches. It's worth checking in and making sure I am ok, right? I'm not gonna be attacked for making sure I am healthy? I'm just nervous ... like I said, I've never seen a doctor beyond an urgent care or emergency room (besides a psychiatrist). I'm just unsure how it works and after being treated like a dog I have fears of even dealing with other people.