I just had my Pdoc session. I feel kind of gross now. Just the way he encourages my weight loss is strange to me. He’s starting me back on topamax again. This time a higher dose to encourage faster weight loss. I just find it so odd. He asked what I weighed and I told him I weigh 168 and he said that’s not much. I am 5’5 btw so a bit short for a man but 168 still isn’t huge compared to that height. I told him about the surgery and the 2 ER trips after and then the poison control center call on Tuesday. I told him I took all the meds to sleep through my hunger. So maybe he thinks the topamax will help me cut out on my sleep med ODs and then maybe get into a better sleep pattern? That’s the only thing I can think of because he sounds like a wack job. He said he could refer me to a weight loss clinic and a weight loss clinic would probably just send me to an eating disorder clinic instead.

I mean it went decently and I remembered to tell him everything and told him I was happy with my new therapist and I was really happy with my surgery and how I hadn’t been S since and he was happy for me but he just makes me feel kind of gross sometimes. Physically and mentally.

But I think he thinks the topamax will help me cut back on all these meds I’ve been overtaking since my hunger is the reason I take them all in the first place. At least the night ones. Yesterday I took all the benzos because of the Benadryl that was causing insane anxiety and I’ve since thrown the Benadryl out.