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I have reasons but no reason to give him not that he accepts them anyway.
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You don't need reasons and it doesn't matter whether or not he accepts what you say.
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I tried breaking up with him a year ago. Got lonely his dad died I was nice to him when he reached out.
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Here it sounds like you allowed your feelings to make the decisions. Let your brain do that!
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honestly I've ended up married to guys I didn't want to marry.
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This could well happen again unless you let your brain be in charge, and
not let yourself be influenced by whatever feelings come up.
How can you help your brain to be the one in charge?