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At first I thought he's punishing me for calling him today. But then I always have to check that thought because that would imply he intentional wanted to hurt me which can't be true.

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bravo my dear.. this is really good, seriously. It took me about 13 months to come to that decision. It is tough to break that though huh? My T is always having to run back and forth with the secretary, it's tough keeping track of everyone. i am certain he didn't intend to hurt you or deliberately choose not to tell you. Think hard and i am sure you can recall times when you have done a similar sort of thing... they try hard but it happens in the best of intentions even. i'm not minimizing.. god no.. i was so long trying to make myself believe T had good intentions.

i'm sorry he is away.. you can suffer through it with me if you like.. my apt is 15 days away... and i am not supposed to call unless my head is nearly off or something.