I’ve been nauseated these last 2 days. I also have some external pain and very light spotting. I don’t know if it’s the topamax or not causing the nausea. My mom says it shows on my face that I’m not feeling good. I don’t have a fever though.

I’ve only taken one melatonin tonight and I haven’t taken my 160 mil geodon yet. I majorly cut down on soda so I’m wondering if my body is just getting used to the lower amounts of caffeine. I also cut down on tea but I’m not replacing it with as much water as I should be drinking. I don’t think I’m having like reactions or complications to the surgery or anything like that.

Sometimes I feel like I’m having some post op depression. I talked about it in therapy today about how I feel like I’m not doing anything with my life. And my therapist told me that I’m doing a lot with my life just by working on getting better and healthy. And my mom agreed and she said to think of where I was last year at this time. And last year I was dealing with transference with a therapist that wasn’t right for me and doing those telesessions that were wearing me down terribly and I was dealing with legit severe post op depression and S thoughts almost every night and being assessed weekly for IP or IOP where I eventually ended up. So yeah things are better now then they were last year. I don’t know. Maybe I just have a bug. I just don’t feel good. But I didn’t take anything extra because I for one don’t feel the need to and for another thing im scared to take anything extra tonight.