Quote:
Originally Posted by MuseumGhost
As Trust Issues Too wrote, support groups can lead people to open up and give words to the situations they found themselves in. And it's always a good thing to realize we're not alone in our circumstances.
But I think it often helps to have qualified people facilitating the discussions in the group. That way, when the same things keep coming up, the conversation can be gently re-directed to more helpful, pro-active thinking and behaviour.
An experienced, and hopefully TRAINED facilitator is key to the therapy process of a group. Progress might not happen at all if the same conversations happen over and over.
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I completely agree with everything you said here, MuseumGhost!
I also believe that 12-step groups for addiction serve a different purpose and benefit for addiction problems, but not so much for victims of people with addiction problems (hence, victims of a substance-abusing parent who was emotionally abusive, emotionally neglectful and/or physically abusive, etc.). Those who have survived from child maltreatment deserve different types of groups for different types of healing. Staying within the walls of the addiction mindset can be a trigger itself; meaning, for someone like me, 12-step groups trigger me because my father had an addition to alcohol and I associate such groups with people like my father, so even a "support" ACOA meeting will be too triggering to benefit me. I would assume that other ACOA survivors opt not to attend such meetings and instead attend other supportive networks, which includes ACOA but is not limited to just that; because, in essence, every ACOA has experienced at minimum, some level of child neglect (restricting love, warmth) and emotional abuse (inflicting verbal harm or other forms of emotional harm, such as passive-aggressiveness). Being part of non-12-step meetings might be most beneficial for ACOA survivors if and only if the ACOA survivor isn't also battling with addictions. But I could see how ACOA could help those with comorbid substance-abuse disorders (SUDs, as they nick it now).
Perhaps the rumination is part of the issue with ACOA, which might be beneficial to demonstrate consequences for those with addiction issues, but not so beneficial for those who ruminate over non-consequential stuff, but rather, abuse memories, shame memories, blame memories, self-hate memories, etc. Those things aren't using negative reinforcements in the proper way to stop a behavior, but rather in a self-punishing way to stay stuck in the past without any true grieving process that allows for growth (I'm not identified by my parent's addiction any longer; I was hurt, and it wasn't my fault, so I can move forward without blaming myself), positive affirmations (I survived, I'm not alone, we can move forward, we can make the most out of life, despite the emptiness of the past), positive reinforcements (positive changes through boundary setting, for instance), and many more things that the 12 steps don't address because they really aren't beneficial for victims (or, put differently, those dozen steps aren't beneficial for other mental disorders).
Maybe this will shed light on a new perspective - one that hopefully will help offer multiple paths of support for ACOA survivors.
I, for one, cannot feel comfortable or safe in a 12-step group.