I’m the one who has to say thanks because your topic in this thread made me deep down the point I’m currently living.
And also about my parents past situation.

On one hand, as to what my parents regards, my dad was emotionally dependent on my mum so he became very controlling and I had to go through it, too. My mum used to confine me her problems with him and I even lived them.

On another hand, in relation to myself, I’m beginning to experience the progress you already reached. In the sense that I used to react to the outside and was kind of dependent myself so I saw reflected on your mum. Everything affected me, any little thing, any disagreement, any, even innocent remark was kind of an offence. Because I wasn’t good inside. It was all because I was not free of myself. I wasn’t free to make choice because I didn’t like myself a little bit. All I could see was negative and for the first time, I’m beginning to see my self-true and accepted and even being fine with me. It didn’t happen a month ago. So, as you can guess I’m full of relief and happiness.
At the same time, I knew that this change was gonna make possible to reach out to people and understand them better. So, I had to make this effort to be what I am. An empathic person. A person who cares about others and it hasn’t been possible until I take out my shell and break it up into pieces.

In what your dad’s regards. It’s fine to show care by giving things. We learn to express care according to how we were taught.
Some kids learn to show affection by the language, others through physical touch, others offering...It will depend on the patterns they learnt from their caretakers.
Then, it’s the thing about empathy. There are people who are more emotional than others. It doesn’t mean they are less than others. The good thing is to be able to develop your real true without masks. Accept yourself is the way, some people are gonna be more comfortable than others with you, but it’s happens.