I am so sorry you are feeling like that. I grew up with a mother who physically and verbally abused me (also molested), and married an abuser...divorced after 31 years. Whatever we put into our thoughts, it affects us. If you are able to change some of your thoughts, it might help. I used to do a ton of self-talk......you can tell yourself that your life will/can be whatever you choose it to be. Keeping a journal can help....write down all of your feelings and thoughts. Unfortunately, there are some things therapists, etc. can't help us with. I made a decision that what happened to me was not going to determine what my life would be. You don't have to stay stuck in that hell forever....you do have choices. Is there something you would like to do? Decide you will do just one little thing....little baby steps a little at a time. You feel paralyzed with fear, but you are able to function....that fear will keep you from living, Iknow. Do you have a pet? Sometimes that can help you feel a little less lonely.