Well, I don't know what to say.

My son and I finished this big project. He's well into his teen years now with a PT job. He told me, You are my favorite person to work with Dad. You show me a lot, and we really work well together. I hope I get to live at home for a while after high school. I like it here.

We finished, and he was so proud of all we did that I had to remind myself to take pictures of him. Honestly, all I was thinking off was:
- We have to get materials picked up.
- I have to arrange for a clean up run to the landfill.
- I have to get inside and get started on supper.
- One of the kids has a test this week, so I need to think about homework.
- Oh my gosh, do they all have clean clothes for tomorrow?
- Both cars need work. I have to free up space in the garage as I'm cleaning up.

This project saved us thousands of dollars and built a ton of equity into our home. It was all done outside of my work responsibilities, using some of my vacation days, and working between 5pm and dark each day.

Yesterday after work it was; take a kid to meet friends at the park, take a kid grocery shopping with me, home to put stuff away, make supper, clean up, and do homework with the youngest until 9:30pm.

I'm just tired.

I've always felt there is no such thing as "men's work" and "women's work", there is only work. It doesn't matter who does it. This week when my coworker talked about what a "good man" her husband is, and the stuff they count on him for to look after in their home, and then she made that comment to me..... Well, it really floored me. I honestly never thought of shouldering responsibility as something that made someone more attractive or desireable to a partner. I just assumed it was what was done.

I see differences in my wife, especially in very recent months. At this point, things are more positive than in the past. I am getting small amounts of recognition I didn't before. In the past she was so deeply depressed that she told me it was difficult to thank me for all I did because it was a reminder to her of how little she was able to contribute.

While I understand that, I don't understand why she concurrently put me down for the things I wasn't able to keep up with at times.

Her PT job is several evenings a week, that is why I am one on one with the kids even more now. I know her health still isn't good. This is real. She doesn't do much around home outside of work at this time.

I'm pretty guarded these days. I'm not trying much when it comes to connection and dating. I really think I've earned it to be pursued a little. Even though things are better, I feel like they need to be better still, and better for quite a while. I was feeling like that before my co workers comment, but she really punctuated it.

ALSO.... My meeting happened over Zoom. I was sharing digital images of my work. This co worker lives in a different city. This was not a flirtatious comment she made.

Thanks,
RDM