I saw my new therapist yesterday. She’s a psychologist ( a first for me). She seems very kind and the interaction went well. We basically did an intake and she was clear about a game plan forward. She’s pretty transparent and available to me – she is supposed to send me an email (it was supposed to be right after the session, but she was gonna look into some things for me first) so I can reach her if needed. Our plan for the next session is to do some psychological testing (she said to look at severity of symptoms). We agreed to get to know each other and unpack some of the major parts of my need of therapy, we can meet every week until we decide less frequent sessions would suffice. I appreciated that from her. I explained my limited connection with my last therapist and she answered my questions I had about treatment style, approach to therapy etc. She said something I thought was kind of interesting. She gave a rowboat scenario – some therapist row the boat to facilitate your journey (a more therapist-focused approach to guiding your journey) and others let you row with some guidance (a more patient-focused approach that allows you to come to your own conclusion of how to proceed) which neither are necessarily wrong, she agrees with a more 50-50 approach, the therapist and patient row in unison to work towards a goal. What that translates into is that my input in how to proceed, what is important, what to focus on, and how to approach things are weighted equally to her professional opinion. I’m actively participating in the process, not just doing measures asked of me. I think I will benefit a lot from having this type of dynamic.

Psychological testing is a bit scary of a term, but seeing as she is trained to administer and interpret results, I think it’s a good starting point. I have some hope that she will be able to help me. Her modality and specialization is something I think I can really benefit from.

I got my “official” diagnoses listed to me which I was happy to know formally. A lot of of things have been thrown around as possibilities but at least on paper I know what I’m dealing with. Labels aren’t everything but it’s nice to at least feel validated in I’m not alone in what I experience albeit everyone’s experience is different. Not to get on a soap box, but I also think it’s important to realize criteria are guidelines, and do not exclude other behaviors simply because they are not listed. i.e. if anger issues arise, it does not mean you have [insert disorder here] or because it’s not explicitly listed, and you don’t have that issue or that it excludes the diagnosis of [insert disorder here] – it could be independent, part of, or a manifestation of a more prominent[typical] symptom. I definitely take the approach it’s not fair to tell someone what I think they have or don’t have based on how I experience the issue. It’s not fair to anyone [off my soapbox].

Next week is a busy one for me, Nov 1st, 2nd, and 3rd I have appointments. Psychiatrist, therapist and then PCP. I hope all goes well. Nov 1st is a hard day for me, it’ll mark 15 years since my brother passed away.

In other news, I’m ready for November and Thanksgiving is my all time favorite holiday. Sincerely can not wait!