HEEELLPPP HEEELLLPPPPP HEEELLLPPPPP!!!!! I cannot do this anymore! I cannot live being suffocated by my fears of aging illness dying. Too much impending doom that I am going crazy! It is too unbearable feeling like I will die any second every second!!!!!!!! There is just no solution none my entire life is ruined. I just expect the worst every second of every day. I am absolutely terrified and paralyzed with intense dread. It is just getting worse and not even the top professionals can help me. I tried everything! I just cannot make peace with aging illness and dying ever I just cannot accept it. Trembling expecting it all the time. I cannot even do the littlest things anymore because I am too terrified and bracing for death every second. I feel completely hopeless and alone. I have nothing and no one. I feel disgusting and suffocated. I try extremely hard all the time but this is so damn relentless. So evil. Inpatient at the psych ward is a complete waste and useless. Makes me feel worse. Nothing left for me to try. Even hard to breathe. Too helpless and neverending torture and suffering. Nothing ever calms me down even meds do not help!!! No one should live like this. Impossible life. Too terrified of every single thing.