John76...

I'm browsing and reading a lot here, I'm new. But your thread caught my eye and I've read it several times. You sound like a good, decent person.

Your posts gave me insight on what happens inside of a guy's head when he cheats, and you sound as if you're hurting a lot. I was on the other side of the fence... my ex cheated and he cheated a lot. Long story there, but the secrecy of the situation nearly killed me.

Your "mistress" isn't just an "internet" person -- there is a real person behind that screen. Someone with real feelings, flesh, blood, bone... well, you get the point. And everyone is unique. I'm certain she sparked an interest in you.

I hope it goes well for you when you send your letter.

I feel for you... when marriages go sour, it's hard. Perhaps if you still love your wife enough to make it work out with her, you can try to be honest with her and go to both individual and couples counseling.

I appreciate your posts, it helped me get insight on a lot of things in my own situation. I used to belivee my ex never felt guilty for what he did. I can see that through your post that he too may have gone through a lot of agony and guilt, and maybe was unable to express that.

Take care... I hope you don't mind if I follow your posts about this. It helps me a lot.