I'm very sorry you find yourself in such a mess.

I will be kind, but very honest. In light of the affair on top of financial issues, I think it would be wisest to separate from your partner. You can still have a relationship with your step son, even if you separate.

You're putting up with an awful lot of crap and bs to try and maintain your relationship with the step son. All I see is more heartache and pain ahead for you. If he cannot even admit to the affair, how will you get him to go to counseling and cut off the relationship? He won't admit to it and therefore, there's no point in trying to get him to cut it off and go to counseling. The affair will continue and you will deteriorate.

You've already dealt with disgusting and despicable financial abuse from him.... what are you getting out of this other than a relationship with the step son? I imagine not much except for pain, heartache, and stress.

This man is abusing your trust in him in a couple of different ways. He is NOT worth it. He is a dirt bag and is incredibly toxic. You're wanting to sacrifice yourself for the sake of your step son, and in the meantime, you're getting used and abused and mistreated to an awful degree. He's galavanting around town, sleeping with another woman, while using YOUR money and financial support. Do you see what a dirt bag this man truly is? If I ever met him, I would sock him one in the nuts and drop him like a hot potato. His behavior and treatment of you is APPALLING.

Please reconsider your stance on this, for your own mental health and sense of self respect. If you're not in therapy already, I suggest finding a counselor to help you get out of this mess. I hope you find a way. Being single and free from toxicity will feel amazing for you.