I struggle with dissociative eating as well as overeating. I don't have an ED, but I do have to watch what I eat by using treatments for DID (IFS, per my psychotherapist), coping skills for PTSD (per my psychotherapist), a very flexible FODMAP guide (per my primary care), some helpful tips from Dr. Gourmet's website and book, and eating before I shop for contactless door deliveries or even package deliveries.

I overdid it with the emergency stocking of food - in case we had another lockdown in our area (due to high test positivity rates, crisis standards of care throughout our entire state, and high counts of deaths). Thankfully, no lockdowns - even though I've elected to shelter/isolate in place for the past 19 months. I may decide to donate some food to the local shelters, or try and space out the food in order to eat as healthy as possible and not waste it. My PTSD and dissociation kicked in around this time, so that's the origin of my resulting spending behaviors. As far as eating is concerned, it's easier to make the excuse that I want to eat up what's in the cupboards instead of pacing my foods out, planning meals, and donating that which I won't use or shouldn't use. So, I'm taking small steps to work out my plan over the course of the remainder of this year.

Being sedentary also has its risks, especially when having both a physiological and neurological autoimmune-based disorder (from chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis: CFS/ME) that keeps me bedbound half the days every day and homebound every day. Additionally, insomnia, PTSD, and other mental and neurological conditions affect our metabolism, which can affect our insulin, other hormone levels, and adipocytes (fat/weight-based cells). My rehabilitation therapist (a specialist in a different department, adjacent to physical therapy at the VA) suggested that I try "exercise snacks" or "movement snacks" at least once an hour or, if ill, then periodically throughout the day. She said it could be for as little as a minute to as much as my body can tolerate, but to not overdo it, due to my CFS/ME and its resulting post-exertional malaise (PEM) when I do overdo it. So, I limit myself to no more than 30-minute movements, whether I'm doing dishes, laundry, floors, other house chores, or simple stretches and pacing. All of these things will help me burn some calories while coping with boredom (and the dissociative eating that sometimes goes along with). Speaking internally with all of my parts to schedule certain times of the day for certain groups help me to balance my days and my mind-body habits.

Also, my music therapist outside of the VA will help me with finding music that will relax me enough to aid with my CFS/ME somehow. I have many therapists and specialists helping me with all of these issues, which inadvertently helps me with body-mind maintenance, including eating habits. We'll see how that goes, beginning this week.

I'm doing everything I can to maintain a healthy lifestyle, given my limitations. I find that embracing and accepting my limitations helps me to deal with my depression, anxiety, insomnia, PTSD responses, dissociative responses, and judgments from external sources. My limitations are my own, and my treatment team is aware of them. They know I can't do what most neurotypical people can do, as I remain neurodivergent. They also know that my mobility is limited, due to both physiological disorders, injuries, and neurological disorders. Not all of my clinicians will agree, but I try to find and utilize what works and chuck what doesn't. My T has helped me tremendously with these decisions.

Who would have thought that our eating habits, our weight, our mind-body (im)balance, our cognition, our mental disorders/illnesses/issues/symptoms, our sleeping habits, our exercise habits, and our spending habits were altogether related?