I’m new here as well. And have some similarities to your situation. I’ve been with my husband 20 years, married 11 of those years. I guess things started to change in 2016. As I think back to then, I see that I was the only one making an effort to make this work. Conversation with him was always one-sided. Even til today I can pour my heart out and he won’t even respond. Or if he does he tells me that all I ever do is complain and he’s getting tired of hearing it. Sometimes I just laugh to mask the pain because this is someone I’ve been with for a long time, who up until 5 years ago was my best friend. Listened, offered advice, encouraged me, had my back and never let me down. Confused is exactly the feeling I have because I can’t understand where that person went. It’s so heartbreaking dealing with someone you no longer know. So many years together you’re attached and fear leaving. You fear that you’ll never find someone better. Mainly because of the abuse you’ve suffered from him. Gaslighting and love bombing is abuse. That man is a narcissist and as I tell you I am also speaking to myself. It is time to leave. What that man is doing not only harms you, but harms your children as well. And as easy as I am saying leave. It’s not so easy to do. I most definitely understand. I decided yesterday I would find a support group and that’s what led me here. I know others are going through this and have been through this and with this and Gods help, I hope to be able to leave for good and finally get some healing. I hope and pray the same for you as well.