I have a very antagonistic relationship with my ex. Long history there, and I have a very hard time communicating with him. There are times I still must though since we still have a minor daughter and we are trying to negotiate/settle over what to do with the family home. We've been divorced now 5 months, separated nearly 2 years.

He is very angry and very depressed I think. I am very depressed myself. A lot happened to us... and I keep learning more about how deceptive he was in our marriage for the last few years.

The dynamic of our relationship is really bad. If we speak, he will do anything to deny that he's done anything wrong (he will make sure he tells me how happy he is, but with a very loud and angry manner) and he will always "solve" the problems we have between us by demanding something his way and then blaming me for a detail in the situation ("the house hasn't sold because YOU didn't vacuum it, you disgust me.") Stuff like that.

I can't deal with it very well.

So... what I am looking for is some help from anyone... is there any practical advice you can give me so that I can change the dynamic here well enough to settle issues that come up between us with at least a bit less of antagonism?

I have attorneys and am going back to see my counselor. But this guy has a way of going for myjugular, and I think I may help feed it. When he insults me, I lose it... I'll hurl it right back at him ("you make me sick because you're such a liar").

I think that down inside, he's miserable and feeling a lot of guilt. But, he's also got a lot of pride... and I think there is an addiction problem there as well.

All I want right now is to get out from under any situation with this guy that I must be involved in with some peace and the ability to at least state my needs and negotiate a bit. Is there any advice out there on how to deal with this situation without getting more depressed myself?