I try to write a gratitude list every day. But lately, it's getting harder to think of things. So many things are going wrong. I've been sick and I've gained some weight. I'm lonely and despite all my efforts, I remain lonely. I have no one and I never will. I'm unlovable. I'm worthless. I tried to be creative and that didn't work. Nothing I've done is worth anything.

My family doesn't care about me. I just got rejected tonight. No one cares. It hurts. I don't want anything else to do with them. I will quit talking to all of them. It's pointless.

I've tried to meet new people and make new friends. It doesn't work. I must be hideous.