I wonder if it's kind of like quitting smoking, where sometimes you just have to try it a bunch of times before it works out. After eight years out of the workplace, you probably have some muscles to build up again when it comes to frustration tolerance and dealing with aggravating people (whether they mean to be or not).


This latest job incident is evidence that nothing really bad will happen if you try a job and quit because you don't like it. Thinking about it that way may make it easier to just try again. It's low stakes. You've learned a huge lesson about how to handle a similar problem in the future so if this situation happens again at the next job, you can try approaching management before you decide it's not for you.


Your therapist questioning your reaction to this guy doesn't sound helpful at all. Whatever the guy's intent was, the only part you can control is your reaction to that kind of trigger. Developing and practicing coping strategies for dealing with people who seem like jerks seems more helpful than trying to guess what he was thinking.