Hi all, this is my first post. I decided a couple days ago I needed to find a support group. I did a google search and well, here I am. My situation has been going on for some years now. I guess my love for my husband is what kept me blinded for so long. We have been together for 20 years, married 11 of those years. We share 1 child together who is now a teen. For the majority of those years things between were good. I mean we had bad times but they didn’t last long. About 5 years ago I felt a distance between us, and I addressed this with him. I asked him if he needed time to live life and rediscover himself. We told me if did not and he wanted to stay in our marriage. Later that year I discovered text messages between him and other women directly on his phone and on dating sites. Stupidly, my love and I guess desperation kept me in this because as I look back, this is when I should have just left. Throughout the years things just got worse. I showed him it didn’t matter what he did I would forgive him, forget and move on as if it never happened. I gave him the ok to the point that he has now made 2 children on me with another woman. During the first pregnancy I left briefly. Only coming back because he refused to allow me to leave and promised the sun moon and the stars. Against my judgment, I went back. He promised he was not messing with her anymore. On our wedding anniversary the following year something told me to check this girls social media page. I did, and on our anniversary she makes a post with an ultrasound picture that her child is going to have a little sibling. Heartbroken I tell him congratulations and to just be happy with his new family he created. Again, he tells me he doesn’t want to be with her. It was an accident that he got her pregnant again. I don’t know how you accidentally get someone pregnant but ok. I stand on my decision and shut off all contact. I still have him and out child access to one another. He manipulated our child by crying and telling her I was breaking up our family to the point he had our child in tears and believing him. My child isn’t a crier at all. My child has tough skin. I didn’t fall for it then, but eventually I gave into conversation with him because of my child. Of course I was yet again manipulated into a friendship and then I got back with him. I was again promised he would change and he didn’t want to lose his family. He promised he would be a father to his children and leave it at that. About 5 months later I found out he was still involved with her. Well of course dummy. What I don’t understand is why he wouldn’t allow me to just leave all the times I tried to leave? I was perfectly ok. Why pressure me into staying into something he knew he didn’t want. How after so many years together does he want to break me the way he did? I literally cry everyday. The words and his actions have killed me inside. Some days I don’t know how I’m still here. This man has messed me up mentally. I’ve been in therapy since the beginning of this year and in the beginning it was working. I don’t feel the same success as I did back then. For some reason I’m just stuck. Any advice?