Oh, I am glad to hear that America is still America. Mothers sometimes think they own us because they raised us, but they don't! Many years ago I read a book about mothers' strategies (to control their daughters) and how to use some strategies back on them. It talks about different "mother strategies", and helps us to identify with one or more "mother type" and then we are given beneficial strategies to not have to "bow for their wishes" but still be friends in one way or another. It really helped me.

It is still in print and they have it at Amazon or maybe you can borrow it from the library if interested.

"How to Manage Your Mother: Skills and Strategies to Improve Mother-Daughter Relationships" Hardcover – May 1, 1992
by Nancy Wasserman Cocola (Author), Arlene Modica Matthews (Author)