I am sorry that is happening to you. Wish I knew how to help.

I tie my self-esteem to a narrow set of goals: trying to help people and animals. Since I am homebound because of illness, there are few animals I can help. I leave breadcrumbs and oats for the ants and bread for the birds. I try to help people online.

These give me a sense of self-esteem and confidence. Other things are of very low priority to me, so whether I succeed or fail at them is not of that great importance. Of course my circumstances are quite unique and so I am not qualified to give advice.

Hopefully you will find ways to restore your self-confidence. It is distressing to doubt all one's decisions. I have sad and bitter personal experience with that.

Depression is awful and brutal. Just surviving depression takes a good amount of basic heroism. Those not afflicted with depression have no idea how much nobility and stature it takes just to survive it.