I think this is a good realization, Waterbear. I missed former T terribly after we ended (she got sick with MS and had to stop seeing clients). I went to a T that was warm, supportive, and understanding to help get through the loss of former T. It maybe wasn't what I needed to grow, but I think she was what I needed to heal. Then earlier this year I was able to move on from her and saw a different T but he doesn't seem right for me either. So then I went into IOP and you can't have an outside therapist but I have one-in-waiting for when IOP is over. She seems like she will fit the bill. She says she can help me so I am hopeful. But back to your post, I think it is important to have the time and space to honor the work you did with Ex T and maybe work through the loss of Ex T. HUGS Kit