I’m over it. Today I’ve just been numb. Anxious in the AM. Fir about an hour I felt extremely uncomfortable, like I had to self harm or I couldn’t make it any longer. Obv I’m trying to avoid that so I found my stress ball and squeezed the hell out of it. It helped to focus my tension to an actual object.

I wasn’t in any crazy situations today but I could hear the walkie and overhead announcements and the school was just tore up today. Straight up until dismissal. Like non stop all day.

I can’t blame the kids, I really can’t. That’s why they’re here. But we are getting zero support from admin, that’s what’s so frustrating. I mean, the assistant director came on at 3pm saying she knows it’s been a challenging day BUT we have a professional development to do so get cracking. She was overruled thank god.

I missed my therapist appt too bc there was extra traffic and I didn’t get home in time. I’m going to ask her if she has any later appointments available because 4pm is just cutting it too close.

I’m ran across something about mindfulness (which I scoff at ) but i found a helpful tip about working in a toxic environment. It said to set goals for yourself outside of work, that have nothing to do with work at all. So right now I think my goal will be to get physically stronger through exercising as much as possible during the week.

I just need to come up with relaxing things I can do when I get home to put work out of my mind for the night.