Thanks Lonesome. I think you are absolutely right. I do need to grieve. I feel Ike I have been grieving, but how long does it go on for? How long do I have to go through this for? Ex T was the first person I ever truly loved. She has been the most important person in my life and the feelings I have for her run so deep that it feels like a part of her actually lives within me. Except right now that part of me is just empty. Because she hasn't died, I have no resolution here. It feels like she is just missing, but yet I know she is out there. I can't grieve properly for that. I'm not sure I will ever be able to grieve properly for that, not while I know she is still physically alive and out there.

For me, it feels like I am being made to go cold turkey from a drug that made me feel SO good. Being asked to just give up on the relationship that provided the basis for so much positive change.

I certainly have considered working with Temp T for a bit longer, but I am concerned that I will only end up in the position that I was in last time. That I will find myself attached to someone who then isn't right for my Teenage One.

I have decided to try and do it the other way around. To try and sit down with Potential New T and really see if we can get her to provide what I need in the here and now, with the knowledge and belief that she will help me to taper down from that when the time is right, and that in doing so we would be, at the same time, building the basis for the relationship that I need going forwards with my Teenage One.

I plan on trying to have this conversation with her next week. I'll let you know how I get on! If it isn't a success, then going back to Temp T is my safety net.