I feel Ike I have been grieving, but how long does it go on for? How long do I have to go through this for? Ex T was the first person I ever truly loved. She has been the most important person in my life and the feelings I have for her run so deep that it feels like a part of her actually lives within me. Except right now that part of me is just empty. Because she hasn't died, I have no resolution here. It feels like she is just missing, but yet I know she is out there. I can't grieve properly for that. I'm not sure I will ever be able to grieve properly for that, not while I know she is still physically alive and out there.


For me, it feels like I am being made to go cold turkey from a drug that made me feel SO good. Being asked to just give up on the relationship that provided the basis for so much positive change.