You raise some really interesting points - re. inclusivity I find it sad and sort of mind boggling that people within certain groups reject others based on why they identify as XYZ (that goes for pretty much everything), while saying they want to be included. Can you have inclusivity while being exclusive? Only if you consciously want to make your group into an island of sorts, I guess. Asexuality arising from medication, trauma or birth will likely have similar impacts, or at least one might reasonably assume.
I am sorry about what happened to your mum, nobody should be put through that.