I am a little worried I'm having some kind of episode. I don't feel up at all but I have extremely uncharacteristically messed up my budget for the month and spent money in a very pressured way. I was buying Christmas gifts but also things I needed but I got quantities that didn't make sense and in general it looks bad on paper.

I'm also awake at 1:20 but that's normal for me. My pdoc added an extra dose of gabapenting at 11 pm but it's not doing much if anything. It's still fairly new so I'm still hoping it will work out. For now I took PRN klonopin which I hate doing, especially since my pdoc said under her breath that if this gabapentin doesn't work that she'll probably increase the klonopin. I've been slowly working on getting off it for a long time. (We keep decreasing the dose slightly and then someone in my family gets sick and dies and then I need to mourn and then I lower it again and someone else dies and we repeat.)

I also am doing something difficult and complicated in therapy and that may be part of the problem.

Plus I got my COVID booster and that could be causing all kinds of things. I spent yesterday sleeping and even slept all night from 11 on. Today I took a little nap but mostly was up.

I just don't know.