Gardening is so good for me. Your message today was right, we do sometimes forget that we have the resources within us. At the the though it seems like no resources in the world will help.

But my early morning gardening did help this morning. Digging out the compost heap, laying mulch on the beds. I feel close to you when I am gardening, and that feels amazing. And then there are all the analogies to life.

Putting the garden to bed for the winter. Weeding out the small weeds that have grown (the negative thoughts and the self doubt) and putting a giant blanket over them, wrapping the tender plants up and tucking them in.

Planting the bulbs, burying them underground, invisible, you can't see them growing, but they are there, doing their thing. And then we wait, we find other ways to occupy our time, other activities, until spring, when the bulbs shoots start to look above the ground and hope returns with renewed vigour.

And now I am at the beach, about to collect pebbles. Pebbles which I will paint and on them I will write all of the beautiful things that you have ever said or written to me. I wish I had a better memory. I guess that's why I wish you had said more of that yesterday, because I may have been able to rember better. But I know it, in my heart, and that's what matters I guess.

Take care, my wonderful K,

Me