I couldn’t tell what was physical and what was anxiety and what was food related. I did what I could for my anxiety. Then I ate some instant velveeta shells and cheese. I feel a lot better anxiety and food wise. But I feel absolutely awful physically. It’s tough when there’s 3 things going on at one time to know which one is causing the most trouble and which one is making the others worse. I’m trying to get the laundry done that I’ve been neglecting for a week. I wear a new hoodie everyday so most of my laundry is just hoodies and heavy jeans. But with front loading washers you can’t fit that much in. So I have a load in the dryer and one in the washer and I have at least 2 more but I’ll probably save those for the morning because just doing those 2 wore me out. My mom went out and did some grocery shopping this morning and then again just now and got me a hot herbal tea with Splenda from Dunkin. Hopefully it helps.

The tea helped. I also watched a couple episodes of Project Runway and I feel decent now. The cold seems to flip back and forth and get worse and then better. I got almost all my laundry done except my white hoodies because I was tired and I had to spray some Oxy clean on a couple spots on 2 of them and they had to sit. I’ll do them in the morning.

I’m sneezing and stuffed up right now but I’m hoping to be better in the morning since I rested for most of the day. My mom feels iffy again but my brother seems to be decent.

I’m getting these intrusive thoughts that my therapist doesn’t like me because she was using a lot of humor and being goofy the first session and then the last 2 sessions she’s been super serious and maybe she just doesn’t think I’m the type of person who likes to goof around? Which I mean I’m basically not. So maybe she doesn’t quite understand. She’s not like a blank slate really. She does show emotion. I don’t know. Maybe the whole poison control incident was a bigger deal then I realized and she thinks my situation is a lot more I don’t know, complicated maybe then she had first realized so she needs to be more serious.

I mean I didn’t even think about it until today. Is this once again some kinda transference going on? I was just super glad she was supportive of my weight loss I didn’t stop to think about how she felt and thought of me personally anymore after that incident and then that following session.