What an utterly heartbreaking situation. Just so heartbreaking. Wish I knew what to say that would help. Can't even begin to imagine what you must go through day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute.

People are so mysterious and I have really given up trying to understand why people do some of the things they do. The human brain is so complex and sometimes the tools we use to understand it seem quite primitive, like taking apart and trying to fix a fine Swiss watch with picks and sledge hammers. Psychology is such a young science compared to the other empirical sciences.

But hopefully you will find these Forums helpful to you in your distress. I have failed so many times in relationships that I am not at all qualified to offer insight or advice. There are many folks here, though that are going through separations and divorce and I really hope they see your post and respond to it in a kindly and really helpful way. You don't deserve the terrible burden of distress that you bear!