I've been physically, mentally, emotionally abused by men in my life also. I've been stalked and poisoned as well. I think because my father and brother were abusive I felt I never deserved any better. Now, I realized I'm better off being alone and am happier. All the men I attract are abusive to me. So, I know it is my problem. I have stopped dating for the past three months and found another interest- writing. So, I'm happier now. It keeps me busy and productive. I hope to pursue writing professionally in the future. Thus, out of the fire and ashes, I picked up myself and am leading a new life although I'm scarred and charred. At least, I still have an optimistic outlook. Thank you for sharing your story SprinkL3. I understand your situation and hope you recover.