i am in a fairly dark place. and it's only getting worse.

i'm currently on injuries #15 & #16 in less than 18 months! i'm so beaten down- physically, emotionally, mentally.... i'm not at the point of needing a reason to continue, but i'm getting there.

what's the point of even talking to anyone?! i know that sounds bad, i'm sorry. the anxiety, the fear, the pain (kinda), the 'd' of course, the stress of it all - it's just all so dam overwhelming! i'd LOVE to go hide in a dark room, for weeks. but cancelling my doctors appts (physical health that is) would probably 'signal' something to my doctors -> which is NOT something i can deal with.

idk......... i just can't keep doing / going thru this s**t anymore! i don't even want to tell my doctors anything more/new cuz i don't want to go thru more (as in appts or other docs or meds). i just wanna be done with all this s**t! i'm so frickin' tired....
[ i don't even have the energy to come on here anymore ]