We have exchange students. A week ago one of them came to my room and basically had a meltdown because of how my parents treat her. One thing she said was, "I haven't even been hugged in two months." And I sat here like...is it normal to be hugged? I was raised without physical affection and tenderness, so I have no idea what is normal or abnormal. I am sad to say, it never occurred to me to give these girls hugs. I never think about doing this because I'm so not used to it. It's not something my family does now or ever.

I see these girls being treated the way I was (though I don't think as severely) and it's heartbreaking. They have been thinking about quitting the exchange program and going home. My parent's attitude is, "Living in our house is enough we don't have to take you places to see the country. By the way, you cost us a lot of money so you should be grateful." But my mentality is, "No one comes from another country to sit around in a room in the middle of nowhere just looking at cows and trees. People who come to see America, come to see America." My parents don't want to do any trips for them because they don't want to spend money. Because they refuse to feel obligated. It's like their only emotion is resentment.

I have been thinking about this. I know my parents have money. I'm like...You guys have money, why are you acting this way? I'm trying to work on a trip to Boston and I plan to take the exchange students. If my parents don't want to step up as decent people, I will. I'm working on plans to give them an awesome Christmas too. Last year my parents didn't even want to celebrate, and it took me blowing a fuse, yelling and cursing at them, to make them change their minds. I had already bought them gifts and my dad's response was to return them and get my money back. I lost it.

My parents have/still treat me like I'm a burden for needing to go places. I don't have my license because of a disability. My mom usually refuses to take me anywhere because I'm too much of an inconvenience. She will take these girls, but she gets so angry at them if she has to, which upsets them. They complained they are constantly being yelled at and it's like everything they do is wrong. One asked for a friend to stay the night and my dad yelled at them saying that they paid for the house and all the expenses and that they don't have the capacity to allow them to have a friend stay overnight. (Ironically they invited my sister and her fiance to come to stay for a week. Hmmm.) I was like...what BS is this? These girls are not allowed to even have friends like normal teenagers?! My parents like to remind them that they are an expense on them as well as their friends. And this is how they have treated me as well.

The one girl said, "My mom has never done this or treated me this way. She never reminds me of how much money I cost her. I don't understand this."

I don't understand it either, but now I know that this isn't normal. I am not one of the host parents, but I am wondering what I should do in this situation that could help it. Because it is affecting their mental health. I felt like my parents never should have agreed to be a host. Because I know how they are, they still trash and make fun of past exchange students they had. I hear them say horrible and ugly things about one that was such a sweet girl. Some of it borders, to me, on racism. I have no idea why they participating in this program. All they want to do half the time is complain and vent and rant about the current exchange students.

I have a background in psychology and did study adolescence. They are just normal teenagers. I really adore and enjoy them. But I want them to have a good experience.