Dear Ex T,

Time. Time will make this easier, for me. Time will make you less of a focus for me. Right now though, you are the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing I think of at night. Actually, it has often been this way, and I'm not entirely sure why... Except for the fact that the love I feel for you/the relationship that we had was so fundamental to my current existence.

Anyway, I know from experience that time will lessen this 'infatuation', for want of a better word, and I will be able to see you through a slightly different lens. I kind of look forward to that day? I think.

I'm not sure if I ever will see you again. I'm not sure if I ever will contact you again, but hoping that I have that option is like a bandage to my breaking heart. (Still wish you would just say it outright though, but.... You never would and you never will... I need to just go with it and see what happens I think).

And Potential New T...

I HATE how unavailable you are... But I also know that it is probably going to be good for me. I just don't see how difficult it is to reply to that text. You either have Jenga or you don't. I need it tomorrow morning to be able to show you something, and if you don't have it I could have ordered it yesterday to be delivered today. Now it's too late and now I won't be able to show you. I text you at 8am. You can't tell me that you don't look at your phone all day and that you can't find 1 minute to reply?

I know that something may have happened that means that you actually can't. Maybe you were in hospital for yourself or family. Maybe you lost your phone. Maybe it was a child's wedding day. Maybe all sorts of things, but unavailable is something you are proving to be, and like I said, I know it might be good for me but I DONT like it.