I am trying to work through this myself. I have booked myself into therapy and told my therapist I need trauma-focused therapy and to discuss these experiences and relationships. It's okay to get help to work through these things. If you don't want to discuss them in talk therapy, there is EMDR.

I want to heal from the past too. But do I want to heal to have another relationship? Not really. I simply want peace.

I focus on being my own soulmate and living a life filled with a different kind of love from within myself and the things I love. I leave the drama and abuse out these days. I'm in a great relationship with myself. People try to pursue me but I won't give them the time of day. There's no amount of sweet-talking that will ever catch my interest. There is no way I am going to put myself in that situation again. I'm older and tired. I have no room for this in my life.

I did notice though. My intuition on fake, two-faced, manipulative people is spot on. I can literally feel when someone is lying to me. It sounds like you have this too, I think being able to do this is a gift. And it can help you navigate through life. I don't see a part of trauma, I see it as a form of intuition and empathy. May it serve you well.