I didn’t really consider that, but that might be at least part of what’s going on. Thank you.
I guess I feel partly responsible here because he did go to a lot of effort to find me, but I was left very confused as a teenager when he was hostile. One time he did apologise for not being in touch for a while - mum’s health had been very bad. I understand a bit better now and was hoping since we’re adults things might be different, but of course I have no idea what he’s thinking. All I know is I have a lot of things going through my head, mostly grief, still, over the initial separation and not meeting my mother.